From Stories for Preachers & Teachers:
I grew up in a neighborhood that was so tough that when the men were drafted into the Army, every time they fired a weapon on the firing range they wiped off their fingerprints.
I grew up in a neighborhood so rough, I learned to read by the light of a police helicopter.
That neighborhood is so dangerous, America On Line can't even deliver e-mail there.
--Bill Jones
An officer in a police helicopter spotted a car speeding down the Interstate. He radioed his partner on the ground and the patrol officer in the car stopped the speeder and began writing a citation.
"How in the world did you know I was speeding?" the man asked.
The patrol officer didn't say anything but pointed skyward.
"Aww," the man moaned. "You mean, He's turned against me, too?"
ne day Adam is talking to God, and he asks, "God, I've been wondering. Why did you make Eve so pretty?"
God replies, "Because I wanted you to like her."
Then Adam asks, "But why did you make her so stupid?"
God answers, "Because I wanted her to like you."
Four out of five doctors say that if they were stranded on a desert island with no lawyers, they wouldn't need any aspirin.
• Feudalism. You have two cows. Your landlord takes some of the milk.
• Pure Democracy. You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets your milk.
• Representative Democracy. You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to decide who gets your milk.
• Pure Communism. You have two cows. Your neighbors help take care of them, and you all share the milk.
• Pure Socialism. You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everybody else's cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.
• Bureaucratic Socialism. You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everybody else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk as the regulations say you should need.
• Fascism. You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to care for them, and sells you the milk.
• Dictatorship. You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.
• Bureaucracy. You have two cows. At first, the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.
• Pure Anarchy. You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price, or your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you.
• Anarcho-Capitalism. You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
• Surrealism. You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
One more hint on my airline pilot's identity: He is not white or hispanic or black. He is mixed race.
Andrea says: As I reflect today on my own losses I target the pople who would most understand me and my losses. They are the Kennedys of Hyannis Port. Especially Caroline who lost her father, mother and brother. Caroline Schollsberg is the only one left in John F. Kennedy's family. That is the family she was born into. My cousin Dr. Donnie Dixon would no doubt understand some of what I am feeling. No other relative has been put into such a situation because of death. Their insensitivity to me is undoubtedly a shock. How can I blame my neigbors when my relatives are clueless. I will put my cousins names at a later time on this website. Last known address will be included. Like Fort Lauderdale, Pembroke Pines, Lauderhill, Cooper City, Atlanta, New Jersey, New York etc. Friends who should know better will also be included for getting a gold medal in the area of heartlessness.Their excuse is always, " I am so busy. You know I have an husband.
Kennedy death leaves no clear heir | |
|
| |
Thousands mourn Edward (Teddy) Kennedy in Boston, Massechusetts
Photo of Senator Teddy Kennedy
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/8226877.stm
To: The Kennedy Family of Hyannis Port, Massechusetts From: Americans of every political party
We mourn with you your loss and pray that the Holy Spirit (The Comforter) will attach himself alongside you as the balm you now need to soothe the pain. This happening so quickly after Kennedy sister Eunice's death has made your loss more severe. May God be your refuge and your strength as you put your trust in him. I, Andrea, remember when I lost my mother in 2004, and, my only sibling, my brother 20 days later. In less than a year later May 11, 2005 I lost my father to death. This loss must be especially hard for Bobby children and Caroline who lost their fathers at an early age. Teddy tried his best to be there for them, his mieces and nephews, and his own three children. Jean his baby sister has to have also taken his death especially hard. His immediate family of wife, ex-wife Joan, and his children must have been hit the hardest. In the words of Matthew 5:4 "Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted." NIV Be comforted according to God's word in Jesus name amen!
Access Hollywood - August 27, 2009 4:03 AM PDT
LOS ANGELES, Calif. -- On "The Apprentice," Omarosa Manigault Stallworth came on strong. But, in a new interview with Access Hollywood's Shaun Robinson, Omarosa revealed she is now looking to be more saint than sinner.
"We ran into Donald Trump recently and he said, 'I like Omarosa,'" Shaun recounted.
LOS ANGELES, Calif. -- Queen Latifah is slimming down -- and expanding her career.
Her latest CD, "Persona," hit stores yesterday, and she has been asked to be a guest judge on "American Idol" following Paula Abdul's exit
Queen Latifah is slimming down ...
LOS ANGELES (Reuters) – Labor group Actors' Equity said on Thursday an arbitrator has cleared actor Jeremy Piven of wrongdoing in a dispute with producers of Broadway play "Speed the Plow," who were upset when he left the show complaining of mercury poisoning from eating too much sushi.
A representative for Piven said the arbitrator's decision was based on medical testimony from doctors, and that the actor spent three days in a hospital as a result of his condition.
Andrea says: Yes I am still here. I guess people are praying for me to live. If you are praying for me to live please pray for me to get healed. Welcome to my recurring "fantasy land." Three guesses on who my airline pilot is. Two hints are [1.] It isn't Patrick Dewar [2.] It isn't Clive Bravo If I say more I might give it away. [3] He is not Puerto Rican You might try consulting with Sharon Brandt and/or Merlene Warner for hints. [4] No he is not Justin Bramwell. Justin is barely out the cradle. His father is about 3 or 4 years older than I. No, not Justin Bramwell.
I got a call yesterday AM from Department of Children & Families. Apparently some letter I had written Governor Crist was sent to them. Being totally unaware of which of the many letters I had written Florida's governor they were referring to I listened. The person thoght I would benefit from a therapist a Park Place. However, I would have to go to visits and tell them my problems. It takes 24 hours out of the day to tell Jesus Christ my problems and I am never finished. Jesus Christ has solutions. I am now home bound and in full hospice. The time line is completely out of date. I wont ever talk about the man in the attic again. If I have to live in the Twilight Zone I will adapt. I can patronize everyone starting like now.
Hallmark Management Company is the silent management at this apartment complex. I got a letter last week referring to a letter I had wrtiien Governor Crist of Florida. Which one of my letters got to you. They were so insultive I wont mention it. Alice Triedell and her boss Carol Collins I hoped I could meet. However, I will refrain from commenting about either person.
Vernon Fuller of USDA Rural Development also wrote to me referring to a letter I had written to Governor Crist. Three responses about the one letter yet getting nowhere. Neither the stalker in the attic has left nor my notary seal returned. I had written to Governor Crist resigning my commission effective immediately because my notary seal was always missing and then surrepticiously returned. To date I have gotten no response from the Governor of Florida's Notary section.
Three responses and nothing solved.
Yes, I am still being called Mrs. Elliott by many in sundry places. I am tired of explaining that I am not married to any relative or family member. As a matter of fact I am one of Ehud Elliott's few grandchildren that he knew when he was alive. I guess he knew Valorie, Maurice, Owen Keith Jr., My brother Michael (deceased), Me Andrea Patricia Evelyn and maybe my cousin Jennifer Shaw nee Elliott.
My father's name is/was Cedric Barrington Elliott popularly known as Bunny. He married Violet Angela Palmer in 1947. I was born in 1950. Please, whatever you might do, don't call me Mrs. Elliott. My mother was Mrs. Elliott. I guess a lot of my male cousins have married women and given them the name Mrs. Elliott. "To you women here is a message. Don't any of you get cute with me. I was born an Elliott. I even know Ehud Elliott my father's father. He died when I was 5 years old. No, I am not interested in your husbands. They are too closely related to me." For the record; I did not attend Ardenne High School never ever. Neither did I ever attend St. Hughs High School for girls. I attended Excelsior High School located at 137 Mountain View Avenue, Kingston 3, Jamaica British West Indies.
Christians please pray for God to get me a ranch in Osceola, Lake or Polk County. Any other appropriate county will do. It has to be on 25 acres or more. It has to be owned by me. If and when I get married it will be in both my airline pilot husband's name and my name.
"Father God if there is really someone continually in my attic please let everyone who doesn't believe me experience my trauma supernaturally in Jesus name amen. Thank you father for confirming that I have been speaking the truth by putting all who disbelieved my story in the same position as I have been and still am in, in Jesus precious name amen!" See 2 Kings 1 for example of the "if" concept used by Elijah the prophet of God.
When my nurses come from hospice some neighbors continue to call them cleaners and helpers. The unfortunate thing is that the nurses are better educated than those neighbors.
WASHINGTON - A funeral Mass for Sen. Edward M. Kennedy will be held Saturday at a Boston church, and he will be buried at Arlington National Cemetery near his slain brothers, former President John F. Kennedy and former Sen. Robert F. Kennedy.
The official tributes and services for Kennedy, who died late Tuesday at age 77, will begin on Thursday morning, when his body is carried by motorcade from the family compound in Hyannis Port, Mass., to the John F. Kennedy Presidential Library and Museum in Boston, The New York Times reported.
His body will lie in repose there Thursday and Friday for public viewing, the senator's office said. On Friday evening, a wake will be held at the library, with Vice President Joseph R. Biden and Sens. John Kerry and John McCain among the featured speakers, The New York Times reported.
http://news.yahoo.com/nphotos/Sen-Edward-Kennedy-dies-77/ss/events/pl/051708tedkennedy
http://cosmos.bcst.yahoo.com/up/player/popup/?rn=3906861&cl=15231100&ch=4226716&src=news
http://cosmos.bcst.yahoo.com/up/ynews?ch=4226716&cl=15230872&lang=en
U.S. House Minority Leader Rep. John Boehner (R-OH) speaks during a taping of 'Meet the Press' at the NBC studios January 25, 2009 in Washington, D.C. Boehner discussed on various topics including the Obama Administration's plan on dealing with the economic crisis.
EUNICE SHRIVER A KENNEDY SISTER PASSED AWAY LEAVING WIDOWER SARGENT SHRIVER, DAUGHTER MARIA SHWARZENEGGER, SONS ROBERT, ANTHONY, MARK AND TIMOTHY, 19 GRANDCHILDREN, BROTHER SENATOR EDWARD KENNEDY, SISTER JEAN KENNEDY SMITH THE YOUNGEST SISTER AND SIBLING)., SISTER-IN-LAWS ETHEL KENNEDY, JOAN KENNEDY AND VICTORIA KENNEDY. EUNICE KENNEDY SHRIVER HAS BEEN PRE-DECEASED BY HER PARENTS JOSEPH KENNEDY SR.AND ROSE FITZGERALD KENNEDY. HER SIBLINGS THAT PREDECEASED HER ARE JOESPH JR.,KENNEDY, KATHLEEN (KICK),KENNEDY, PRESIDENT JOHN (JACK) F. KENNEDY, SENATOR OF NY ROBERT (BOBBY) KENNEDY, ROSEMARY KENNEDY, AND PAT KENNEDY LAWFORD.
President Jack Kennedy and his beautiful wife on their wedding day. Look at the cake! I am sure it tasted great. There is Ethel Kennedy in the background.
"GOD FIRST, OTHERS NEXT AND MYSELF LAST"
http://www.eunicekennedyshriver.org/bios/si
http://news.yahoo.com/nphotos/Eunice-Kennedy-Shriver-dies/ss/events/us/080709euniceshriver
Phtoto of Loretta Clairborne and Glen Hansard at EuniceKennedy Shriver'sfuneral
Widower of Eunice, Sargent Shriver
Maria Shriver Schwarzenegger and Oprah Winfrey. Gayle King was also there.
Gayle is in this photo. There is Gayle King with the big white envelope in her left hand.
Photo above is of Caroline Kennedy Schlossberg one of Eunice Kennedy Shriver's nieces
President Barack Obama is introduced by Sen. Edward Kennedy, D-Mass., before signing the Edward M. Kennedy Serve America Act at the SEED School of Washington.(AP Photo/Charles Dharapak, FILE)
